Kids, Critters and Corona with Nicole Bruckman

Nicole Bruckman is an artist I met many years ago when she was helping run operations at Flower Pepper Gallery. She's shown in damn near every gallery in Los Angeles. As her art reflects, Nicole is an animal lover to her very core. She has done a lot of work for Downtown Dog Rescue (please donate). She's the mother of two adorable kids and two sweet pits. Nicole relocated back to her native Cleveland a couple years ago, and I miss her a lot. A global pandemic seems like as good a time as any to check in on her...

How are you feeling?

Definitely feeling anxious and going a little stir crazy! Missing mundane activities and visiting with friends and family.

Were you able to quarantine in the studio? How long has it been?

I have lost track of how many days we have been quarantined for now but luckily my studio is in my home. However, being home with my 3-year-old and 7-year-old has made it challenging to accomplish much!

When did it hit you how serious this was?

I think being a parent made it feel very serious to me very early on. It has definitely made me think of their future and the future of our planet. 

Have you had cancelled/postponed exhibitions as a result?

Luckily my solo exhibition at Gabba Gallery was in fall of 2019 and most of the group shows I have upcoming have been able to move to online shows.

What have you been doing with the downtime? Are you able to make art right now?

Making art has proven to be challenging between the anxiety over what is happening and homeschooling which takes most of my time. I am trying to get back in the groove a little as it does make me feel more optimistic when I create.

Are you finding any inspiration in this mess?

Well, oddly, I have found comfort in making Alice in Wonderland inspired decorations for my daughter’s 8th birthday party which has been postponed indefinitely. My 3-year-old wakes up every morning and says, "what are we making today Mommy?"

What has been the most challenging part of this for you?

Definitely the homeschooling!

What are some of your coping mechanisms?

Making things with my children and walking the dog when the weather cooperates are definitely helping!

What's the thing/place you wish you could do/go but can't right now?

I really wish we were able to have my daughter’s birthday party at the Holden Arboretum and would love to be able to take my daughter to the art museum, and my 3 year old tells us daily that he misses Target.

Why does Sam like Target so much?

Sam loves Target because we always went there after his weekly swim class to pick up
cleaning supplies, etc, and he was allowed to pick out a small toy if he was cooperative at swim class.

Done any binge watching, book reading, game playing?

We have been playing Clue and Yahtzee, I am reading Little Fires Everywhere, and just finished watching Tiger King.

Favorite work of art in Los Angeles?

Too many to name! I miss the variety of art the city provides. Prior to the corona virus hitting the states I was fortunate to see the Margaret Killgallen exhibition at Moca Cleveland which is fantastic.

Any piece native to Cleveland that you love?

My favorite piece of art in Cleveland is the attached portrait of a young girl by Renoir at the Cleveland Museum of Art. I have fond memories of this painting from trips to the museum with my mother and grandmother when I was young.

Renoir

What song is stuck in your head right now?

The soundtrack from Alice in Wonderland since my kids have been watching the movie on repeat!

Favorite brand of toilet paper and where do you find it?

Whatever we can find these days!

If you could hoard one food item, what would it be?

Apples. We eat so many and they go so quickly!

Do you know anyone personally who has contracted the virus?

Fortunately, I do not at this time.

How do you think this all ends?

I am concerned that if we do not change the way we as species interact with wildlife and destroy their habitat that this will never really end and we will be doomed to repeat the cycle with future pandemics.

Thanks, Nicole! Stay safe.

I just dug up an old interview  Nicole did with Juxtapoz and have unearthed her favorite quote. It's quite fitting.

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.” -Dr. Seuss

Gender Dysphoria In The Time Of Korona with Shane Dixon

From the bio of Mx. Dixon:

Shane Dixon is a digital and mixed media artist whose diverse body of work explores fusion of oppositional polarities, transcendental themes, abstract symbolism, and humankind's unique role within the natural world. Leah Shane's unique color sense gives their work cohesion across multiple media and styles and has served as a unifying thread throughout multiple phases of their output. A graduate of Pratt Institute and the Los Angeles County High School for the Arts, Leah Shane draws from their bi-coastal life experience, informed by the rich tapestry of artistic, historic, cultural, literary, musical and filmic trends of both Los Angeles and New York City. A second-generation computer geek, Leah Shane fuses the practices of digital- and video-based art making with the foundation art practices of drawing, painting, installation, and photography. In addition to their active art practice, Leah organizes themed group art shows and other curatorial projects.

All of that is true, but I've  known Shane for roughly 8 years now and I will always think of him as my oddball, artistic friend. They of the sharp wit, acute intellect and boundless curiosity.

What follows is a lively (if perhaps disjointed) conversation/interview that has taken place over the past week via a string of emails.

You've adopted new pronouns since last we spoke, correct? How should I write about you?

I use they/them or he/him, either are fine, just no feminine descriptors of any kind. Thanks for asking.

How are you doing, my friend? How's your physical health? Your mental health? How's your mom?

I’m tolerably OK in 2020. I had top surgery last September, which both was a temporary setback and a longer-term gain. I move totally different in the world and I’m happier when I’m alone. It has even changed the quality of my sleep. Health is good - minor spills once in a while, but basically fine. My mom is also in good health, and we’re weathering isolation reasonably well so far.

You're in San Pedro, right?

My studio is in San Pedro, I live in Long Beach. The studio is the one place I can go without making contact with another human’s airspace so it’s my one destination outside of basic necessities.

 What's the most disheartening thing you've witnessed since this crisis started?

The most disheartening thing I’ve seen so far continues to be the emerging fascism: the politics of shock-and-awe times smash-and-grab. 

Other things may piss me off, individual actions or failures to act, but what will remain my primary area of concern is yet another hard shove rightward like post-9/11, enabled by the con man and grifter occupying the Oval Office and his menagerie of bad faith operators, helped along by much of their ‘loyal opposition’.

Is that too vague of an answer? Were you looking for more of a slice of life vignette?

I’ve been avoiding people enough that I don’t really have any good ones to report. But if you really want to experience the feeling of looking into the abyss of the 2020 zeitgeist and having it look back at you, find the video of Sarah Palin in a blue and pink fur suit singing ‘Baby Got Back’.  It’s nearly every bit as disturbing as Tiger King but it only takes a few minutes instead of seven hours, and no actual animals were harmed in the making of it either.

Why did you do that to me?!

The other day Trump trotted out "Christian Mike" of My Pillow fame. Mike says "read the bible!"

Do you think God came to Mike one day and gave him the idea for his pillow?

That’s between God and Mike. I’m unacquainted with his pillow.

I take it television isn't a drug you consume?

Busted. I do avoid TV news, fast forward and/or mute all commercials (and quietly die inside when other people don’t do the same when I’m around), and especially in 2020 I’ve been keeping most mainstream news at a distance. I get almost all of my news online and occasionally friends will clue me in to something or other.

What are your go-to news sources?

It’s a rotation of a wide range of news sources. I look at stuff like the NYT and WaPo with some suspicion, I look at lots of regional newspapers websites, I look at Democracy Now! And Al-Jazeera and TeleSUR, I look at Truthout and a buncha lefty, anti-fascist, anti-capitalist, and anarchist media chatter. I’m trying to read things that platform the people who usually get swept aside: black and indigenous activists, disabled activists, labor activists, and environmental activists. I do browse rightward media and/or mainstream news media but with a critical eye and always in context of the larger picture, always trying to read for subtext and what’s not being said.

Also, honestly, I read a lot of memes in my various politics and interest groups social media feeds. Anyone who’s not at least somewhat fluent in meme culture is missing out on one of the most white-hot venues for communication that we have presently. A good meme can cause a person to ask the necessary questions and seek out the context to understand a complicated idea, from something that seems transitory and disposable.

Coming back to pillow guy and the Trump/Pence regime. The worse the current administration gets, the deeper the propaganda pileup, the more the gaslighting and the spin are employed, the more vicious assholes double down on the support of utterly amoral parasites that have wholly co-opted our public institutions, the more I see their words and ideas as utterly harmful to consume in nearly any quantity. Anyone who has ever spent any amount of time being gaslit in an abusive relationship will likely recognize many of the same earmarks in how they handle public relations. I don’t need anything these shysters are selling.

So, fastidious consumerism then?

I do have to be careful about what I consume, emotionally/psychically. It’s part of my daily habits to maintain an even keel. 

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned expressly, but in addition to having PTSD for sure, along with its co-morbid handmaidens anxiety and depression, I also suspect I may be somewhere on the autism spectrum (95% certainty) and if I was also somewhat ADHD that wouldn’t surprise me at all. 

My PTSD is the single most salient factor informing my politics. Understanding the effects of trauma on the brain and understanding oppression, slavery, genocide and systematic poverty as a form of inter-generational PTSD has placed me squarely on the side of all the planet’s liberation movements. 

It’s important for me to manage the amount of PTSD ‘kindling’ lying around, too much kindling and one spark can ignite and then anything I might want to be doing has to turn into damage control and recovery. A lot of firm boundary management prevents things from conflagration.

The Donald does seem to represent a trauma being inflicted on a nation. I'm not being flippant when I say that.

I just googled about the Pillow guy. I didn’t click enough to read articles, but he sounds like wall to wall bullshit. I would literally rather go to the dentist or jury duty than subject myself to it. But HAHA! Can’t do either of those things now.

Trump is constantly saying "when you look at..." and "if you look at..." to justify some deep state conspiracy or other. What do you think HE'S looking at, other than Fox News?

Bags of money waiting to be acquired by hook or by crook (usually the latter) and also the nagging sense that no one has ever truly loved him.

Let's talk about your art a bit. I know you work a lot in the digital realm. You refer to yourself as a visual explorer. Describe your process.

My process has a lot of experimentation: I’ll often work on batches of whatever my mode is at a time, and I’ll arrive at the final pieces by months or even years of editing, adding, and modifying. It is not a linear process at all.

I was nearly entirely digital for a solid 18 years (1998-2016) but in the last handful of years I have leaned more into paint, to where I’m doing 90%+ paint now. For the moment I’m employing paint by itself, but I have aspirations to eventually not only take up more digital creation again but to actually fuse the two processes in a single object: so I’ll either start with digital and paint on top of it, or start with paint and then collage digital elements in.

Presently I’m still getting a handle on paint; I have begun a small number of paint-on-digital experiments that aren’t yet ready to show but now have a robust series of biomorphic acrylic abstractions that are really starting to deepen. I’m also playing with a process where I will map out a specific kind of tessellated pattern that I project onto a canvas, trace out with a paint pen, and then continue: so even though all the physical work is analog, the pattern originated with a digital assist, but that hasn’t evolved to where I want it yet. I typically have a lot of layering going on, whether it’s paint or digital. Regardless of medium, I want to create objects that can reward sustained attention.

One of the nice things about working analog now, is that I can see more immediately how my works look in relation to each other as a normal part of creating them. I am constantly grouping my art side by side and in close groupings to see how they work and play together. But also, I’m coming to understand the therapeutic value of just pushing a little blob of goo around on a surface.

Are your images at all informed by experiences with LSD?

Yes.

Do you have a memory of when you first connected with art in a profound way?

I was 15 and I was painting in my room at home. I was very, very troubled at 15. I now know that I’ve had PTSD since I was about 10, if not earlier, but at the time I was unaware of this and just miserable. Puberty and adolescence also sucked and I now recognize some of the pain of that time as gender dysphoria, and that meant that while everyone else was becoming more active with teenage courtship & dating, I was completely stymied as to how to navigate the idea of dating or teenage relationships authentically. The cognitive dissonance of that, combined with the ongoing trauma of living with an abusive adult, was inescapable and constantly weighed on me without me really knowing. 

So, my memory is painting at age 15, while listening to a cassette tape that I’d copied from my vinyl album of the Wang Chung soundtrack to the movie To Live and Die in LA. It’s one of the only ‘cop movies’ I enjoy and partly because it’s the artiest one I’ve ever seen. Although they are mainly known for the big eponymous party down song, Wang Chung were like the avant-garde classical cats of 80s new wave, and I still appreciate what they were trying to bring to the world of pop music back then.

The second side of that album is all instrumental and that was one of my primary painting soundtracks. The first track of the instrumental side (“City of Angels”) starts with kind of drones and atonal notes and a formless musical soup, and then pivots into this driving bass and drum beat with occasional electric guitar fills.

The abstract musical soup would help gently dissolve whatever reality was bugging me and then the driving beat would take me somewhere new while I created. Sitting there, in my room, I could depart this world, painting or maybe pastel drawing in time to the music, seeing the colors changing shape and emerging into forms that never existed until I made them. I could be somewhere else, be someone else. It was totally a self-medicating thing and, in many ways, still can function that way for me.

That memory also factors into my return to paint a few years ago.

Doesn’t TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. have a young Willem Dafoe, playing a troubled artist turned counterfeiter?’

Yes, one of the things that makes TLADILA extra arty is the main villain is literally a frustrated artist who prints money using his art skills. Living the dream! I also love the little gender bendy moment with Rick’s bi girlfriend. a smidge of queer representation in a genre that rarely features that in a humanized manner.

I do want to briefly circle back to what you were saying about memes, because I loathe memes, and I say this as a person who created and posted one yesterday, so I'm a hypocrite.

But memes are, in large part, how The Orange Menace was elected in the first place. Nerve striking in concise, shareable bursts. The Orwellian cautionary tale has taken firm root. Are memes funny? Meh. 

Who named them memes though. That's a story I wanna get to the bottom of, (without having to Google it).

People do credit Richard Dawkins with coining the term ‘meme’. But seriously, memes and shitposting are one of my few pleasures in this dystopian hellscape.

Yes, they can have bad effects and people can use them for horrible ends, but I think you could arguably say that about any human mode of expression. Try some anarcho-communist/antifa/anticapitalist memes, they’re a delightful counterpoint to the MAGA memes.

Oh, Dawkins. That scans. Then maybe we're all a virus.

Depends on your point of view I suppose. There’s a definite thread of ‘HuMaNs ArE tHe ViRuS’ in the discourse that I don’t really agree with.

I think there’s specific humans that behave with the ideology of the cancer cell: growth for growth’s sake, at the cost of the host organism (Earth) and nearby living tissue (other humans). These specific humans have names and addresses and generally all sit atop a mountain of either capital or biddable human minions or both. 

It also comes back to the principle of understanding all things by contrast; if we’re all a virus, then none of us really are, and there’s nothing different we should be doing, which I’ll just... disagree with.

I suspect that comment was lighthearted gallows humor though, so we don’t need to parse it too closely.

What was the last book you read?

Last book I read was "Parable of the Sower" by Octavia Butler.

Coincidentally, the last major cultural event I attended just before the lockdown was a rock opera musical theatre production of... Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler. ‘What’s it about?’ you ask? Oh, you know, just a plucky woman of color protagonist living in a post-apocalyptic Greater Los Angeles of the 2020's, daring to dream of building a better world whilst fighting for her life and the lives of the rag-tag band of people that accompany her. 

Hmm. Sounds like science fiction. Are we edging closer to global anarchy?

If you mean anarchy in the ‘distributed self governance and mutual aid’ sense, I’d say only in pockets, but those pockets (which already exist) will grow.

If you mean anarchy in the sense of dissolution of existing governments, I don’t think we’re quite there yet, and there’s going to be some heavy birthing pains that have to happen to bring that about, not to mention several more impossible-to-predict game changing events that will probably define the 2020's.

I think we’re likely to see various blends of different "Isms" in the coming days. As old systems break down, new ones will arrive to fill the void. Some of the changes will happen extremely rapidly.

I think the changes of how our world society is organized have already begun to take hold and it’s anyone’s guess who will be standing or in what configuration when the smoke clears.

It’s too big for any one individual to steer in any fine-tuned sense, but we can all lean into the kind of future we’d want to live in, starting with survival but always with a mind towards the pivot from surviving to thriving and building something new and hopefully better than what came before. But we’ll also be doing this while mourning heavy losses, devastating losses. But for now: we look after ourselves, look after our family, friends, neighbors, peers, and community, look after the ecosystems we all depend on. We dream of a new day, a better world.

Every day, the sun comes up and we (those who remain after others are taken from the world) have new possibilities. Every breath we draw is a victory. Every piece of art we make that isn’t in lockstep with the emerging fascism is a victory. Every strand of the web of community we weave by keeping ourselves alive another day and reaching out to other humans is one more stitch in our own social fabric. As artists our job in all this is both more challenging and more vital than ever before.

Thanks for that unexpected shot of positivity. I've had trouble locating that reflex lately.

So, the question I've been asking everybody...

How do you think this ends?

I’ll answer this with two quotes

First I’ll quote the Bard himself: ‘What’s past is prologue.’ 

Everything that’s happening today has 20-40-100-250-500 years of prologue (depending on your lens). In that time, how many worlds ended so that this one could exist? One day, 2020 will be regarded as the prologue to a whole new story that emerges from the chaos and instability of this time. It’s scary but it’s also exciting. 

Second, I’m going to quote Dr. Manhattan: Nothing ever ends.

Koronanomics with Alex Schaefer

Alex Schaefer is a painter's painter, restlessly, relentlessly pushing paint around. The number of canvasses he's produced must number in the thousands. He's a teacher and a student.Often delving into color theory, tackling master copies and contemporizing classical themes. Recently he did a series of mosh pit/ mob scenes in which the flailing action of the bodies blurred into disparate tonal abstractions. One reminded me of an x-ray or if you could zoom out of a Rothenberg and see something other than a horse. Whenever I find myself blocked artistically, I think of Alex. Ya just gotta paint. I talked to him yesterday and, true to form, the pandemic hasn't slowed him down much.

How are you feeling, Alex?

In my personal life, very little has changed. I'm already living a "socially distanced" life. Ahahha.

Were you able to quarantine in the studio? How long has it been?

Yes, I'm here in the studio painting every day. I've been wearing a mask outdoors since the mayor issued the order, I can't remember when that was... a couple weeks now at least.

When did it hit you how serious this was?

I don't think it has yet, but I've been following the "social distancing" guidelines ever since the city ordered it.

*sigh* We haven’t been able to find masks anywhere.

Have you had cancelled/postponed exhibitions as a result?

Yes, the Hive Gallery anniversary show that was to be in April is postponed for now. Also, my art demo's in Santa Clarita and Escondido in March were both cancelled.

What have you been doing with the downtime? Are you able to make art right now?

Painting every day. finish past pieces, experimenting with new pieces. Very productive actually. Also working twitter, Instagram, and Saatchi Art like a smooth criminal and selling more prints and art in the past three weeks than I did the past 6 months!

So, you’re finding some inspiration in all this?

Yes.

What has been the most challenging part of this for you?

So far, it's not challenging at all.

What are some of your coping mechanisms?

My counselor and I have set up online therapy sessions since we can't meet at the clinic for the time being. That is nice.

What's the thing/place you wish you could do/go but can't right now?

Visit my mom. Teach at the senior center.

Done any binge watching, book reading, game playing?

Binge watching Tiger King. the Ted Kascinski doc. Your Mom's House. Useful Idiots.

Favorite work of art in Los Angeles?

The Flight into Egypt by Jacopo Bassano at the Norton Simon. It is so solidly painted I admire it every time I visit.

The Flight Into Egypt

What song is stuck in your head right now?

"California Uber Alles" by the Dead Kennedys.

Favorite brand of toilet paper and where do you find it?

Charmin at the CVS.

If you could hoard one food item, what would it be?

Peanut Butter.

Do you know anyone personally who has contracted the virus?

Not personally, but I know friends of friends.

How do you think this all ends?

We get over the virus, a lot of people will die, America will move one giant step closer to a Chinese style surveillance state, the economy takes a huge shit, The government and Fed try to run the same script as the last time that failed,  the public finally realizes how screwed over they've been the past 20 years which sparks major protests, then a great awakening but I'm not sure awakening to what yet.

I understand you've been donning PPE and venturing out to do good deeds like bringing groceries to friends. How often do you go outside?

Once a day, with a mask if it's on the street, or just to the roof I don't wear a mask. I have not done any plein air painting since the stay at home order.

On the day of this writing, Instacart workers are going on strike. We've seen the hoarders and the price gougers. We've seen people line-up for guns in Culver City. This is gonna get a lot uglier, right?

Yes, I believe so. The virus is one thing, the economic collapse is another. Both were inevitable. I think the powers that be that blew this new bubble just figured put the pedal to the metal until something like this comes along and then they just pull their parachutes as the car sails over the cliff with the American public locked inside.

On a scale of the Great Depression to the Black Death, how do you rank this?

As far as the economic side of this dual crisis, I'd says it's going to be "worse" than the Great Depression as far as a larger number of Americans losing even more of the lifestyle they've become acquainted to.. as far as comparing the COVID 19 epidemic to the Black Death it's a little too soon to tell but I think this illness we are experiencing now is a lot less grave of a concern than the plague was to the 15th century, but the changes we will see in our way of life and our relationship to government will be profound

Still feeling good about Bitcoin?

Absolutely! I've sold paintings for Bitcoin recently.

Thanks, Alex.

Krisis Kommiserating with Abel Alejandre

Abel Alejandre was born of hot earth. No, really. He comes from a region of Michoacan, Mexico called Tierra Caliente. But he cites Wilmington, Ca. as his hometown and a boys club he attended there as the most likely seedling for his path as an artist. As best I can tell, Abel first showed his art in 1984, taking part in a Special Olympics mural. Since then he has shown in countless group shows, over a dozen solo shows, and had paintings acquired for museum collections. He's taught printmaking at university, and was one of the artists chosen for the roll-out of the Metro Expo Line in Los Angeles.

I've written about Abel before. I interviewed him 4 years ago (almost to the day). Back then though, we weren't all grappling with a global pandemic. Back then, the L.A. Convention Center wasn't a make-shift hospital.  Back then, we had a President who wasn't bragging about ratings as his citizens were dying. Things were very different then.

I checked in on Abel yesterday.

How are you feeling, brother?

Physically, I feel relatively normal. However, my mental health is a wreck. On ordinary days, I tend to overthink everything and these days it has been tougher than ever to quiet my mind.

Were you able to quarantine in the studio? How long has it been?

My studio is next to my house, so it is easier to do social distancing. I am fortunate that my studio is a converted two car garage with restroom and a stocked fridge. I've been quarantined for almost two weeks. I have left to grab some groceries at some point. I have also gone on two short bike rides, one last week and one this week. Of course, I wear my gloves and mask whenever I leave.

When did ya get the "Holy Shit" gut punch?

It probably hit me about a month ago. I am a news junkie and so I already suffer from a healthy amount of paranoia. As the onslaught of coronavirus got closer to home, I kept expanding my social distancing strategy.

Have you had cancelled/postponed exhibitions as a result?

Two running exhibitions were closed to the public. There are two other exhibitions pushed out, but I would not be surprised if they are cancelled or postponed to a later date. I also had three speaking engagements and a workshop cancelled.

What have you been doing with the downtime? Are you able to make art right now?

I work in the studio almost every day, but not as long as I would like to. There are too many distractions from the news. Since, I'm a news junkie, distractions are unavoidable.

Abel's recent painting on chest X-ray

Are you finding any inspiration in this mess?

Only two things inspire me, available time or a deadline. I’ve had lots of available time.

What has been the most challenging part of this for you?

Food security has been my greatest challenge. I'm on a special diet and it makes me anxious to not have access to fresh produce.

What are some of your coping mechanisms?

I keep to a routine to keep my mind occupied. Every morning I plan out my day, so that I know that the work has moved forward.

What's the thing/place you wish you could do/go but can't right now?

I would love to go see art and to visit with friends and family. Like everyone else, I am relegated to fulfill these tasks online. It is definitely unsatisfying.

Done any binge watching, book reading, game playing?

I've watching Babylon Berlin and Star Trek series on Netflix. I am currently reading Slumberland by Paul Beatty. I don't play games, but love wood puzzles.

Favorite work of art in Los Angeles?

My favorite work is a John Valadez mural in my hometown, Long Beach.

What song is stuck in your head right now (commercial jingles totally count)

“Stay the fuck at home”

Favorite brand of toilet paper and where do you find it?

My favorite brand is Charmin and I can't find it anywhere. I have been reduced to buying a bunch of single rolls from my local 98¢ Plus store. LOL

If you could hoard one food item, what would it be?

I would hoard Bob's Red Mill Muesli. I have to have it, it is part of my routine.

Do you know anyone personally who has contracted the virus?

Fortunately, no one so far.

How do you think this all ends?

I fully expect the economy to stay in the toilet for a minimum of a year and half. The art world that we love and love to hate will be gone; it may take even longer to return. I hope that I am wrong.

El Buk